Sunday, June 11, 2017

Gender Reveal...

Now I'm sure you're all dying to know what we are having...

What we did is we filled empty eggs with ground up chalk the color of the gender and had all the brother in laws and grandpa and Neal smack them like golf balls and the chalk went puffing out a cloud of color. I think we had some surprised family.

Poor Neal missed the egg his first try...haha!

Watch the video below to see!


Thursday, May 25, 2017

14-15 Week Update...

14 Weeks: I had some weird brown spotting (no cramping or pain or anything else) I believe the spotting was left over build up gunk from stopping the crinone gel. But of course it freaked me out. It was all clumpy and dark brown and honestly looked like poo. It lasted a good 5-7 days but I haven't had any since. I had an appointment with Dr Denson a few days after it started and he checked my cervix and it was still closed and we did an u/s and all was well. I'm so grateful for Dr. Denson and how on top of things he is.

15 weeks: So had my appointment with  the perinatal doctor and my cervix is still at a good length and closed.  I've seen a different doctor every time at this office and the one I saw this was my least favorite. She told me to come back in 2 weeks but the last doctor told me to do weekly until we pass the scary stage. So they don't all seem to be on the same page and she just said some things that rubbed me wrong I'm sure she's very capable but I just prefer the others over her.

My placenta is lower and an edge of it is actually touching my cervix but they said as my uterus grows bigger it should move up and not be a problem. But to avoid sex (which we've been doing anyways to be safe).

 My baby has grown so much it's crazy. Every time I do an ultrasound I'm amazed at the miracle of it all. The baby sure moves and bounces around like crazy every u/s too. I haven't felt any kicks or anything yet but when I do I'm sure it'll be non-stop with how much baby moves.

I saw Dr. Denson (5/17) and he said he noticed the two doctors different recommendations (bi-weekly appointment vs. weekly) and so he called over there and talked to a nurse and said he'd rather me be seen weekly just to keep a close eye on things. So we scheduled an appointment for Monday 5/22 and the nurse said she made a note to have the doctor make sure everyone is all on the same page.  Grayson got to help Dr. Denson find the baby's heartbeat and it was around 144.

On 5/18 I went and did temple youth baptisms early morning and when I got home I laid down to rest a little before Neal left for work and around 9:30AM I felt this huge gush and looked and it was bright red blood. I ran to the bathroom and it just kept coming. It was A LOT. It sounded like I was peeing but it was just blood flowing. I didn't have any cramping or anything just the bleeding.  I yelled for Neal and when he came in he was shocked and thought for sure I was miscarrying. I told him to call Dr. Denson. Dr. Denson told us to go to the labor and delivery at the hospital. Neal's mom met us there and took Grayson and Jasper. They got me a wheelchair and Dr. Denson had called them letting them know I was on my way there. Neal called his office and told them to block his schedule.

We checked in and Dr. Denson came in a little later, he did a cervical check but had to remove a bunch of clots before he could see my cervix and saw it was still closed. He ordered an u/s and said we'd chat again after we saw what was going on.

The u/s showed baby still healthy and strong (huge relief) and that I had a blood clot right above my cervix, the placenta had moved away from the cervix just barely and my cervix had shortened to 2.1cm. It was around 3.4cm at the appoinment on Tuesday. They called to tell Dr. Denson the results and he said he would call Dr. Ball at perinatal office to discuss doing a cerclage (stitching my cervix). I had some cramping around 1:30 that scared me a bit but they said it was probably due to the bleeding and clot and irritation to cervix and uterus. Dr. Denson scheduled the cerclage for 4PM and I had to not eat or drink anything until then.

The bleeding had slowed way down and we just hung out waiting for the procedure. At 3:30 they gave me this sour grape smarty drink to help with the acid in your stomach to prevent aspirating. They wheeled me up to the surgery floor and Dr. Denson went over what he'd be doing and then they wheeled me off and put me under anethesia and I woke up a little after 5. He said everything went great, he had plenty of cervix to stitch and was happy that we were doing it now rather than 5 weeks from now.  He had me stay over night to monitor me and it was an uneventful night. No bleeding or contractions.

Dr Denson checked in the next morning and said my blood count was low so put me on iron. They did another u/s while he was there and showed that my cervix still looked around same length as the day before with the stitch which he was pleased with. They told me bed rest through the weekend and would reassess at my appointment Monday with perinatal doctors.

Neal gave me a beautiful blessing in the hospital and I could literally feel heavenly angels surrounding us. I know we were watched out for and maybe the bleeding happened so we could get the cervix stitched, I would've had no idea it was shortening if I didn't have the bleed.

Had my appointment Monday and I was so anxious before hand, I'm not feeling baby move yet because it's too early and I just get paranoid. Sitting in bed all weekend and all I can think is the worst. So Neal was able to move a patient and meet me there. He is the best you guys, honestly I'm the luckiest and I am so grateful for him. My cervix was measuring 4 cm which confused me since at the hospital it was 2 cm but hey I'm not complaining. Baby still beating away and will see them again next week and if things look good they'll space my appointments to every 2 weeks.

So what started out terrifying ended up better than we could've expected. God is watching over us and this miracle babe.

Thank you for your continued prayers, support and love. We are so grateful.

Friday, May 5, 2017

13 Week Update...

I am still in awe we've made it this far. It's hard to believe but I'm starting to feel a little more like this is real. I'm really pregnant. Almost through first trimester. I'm 13 week 4 days. It's really happening.

I can't tell you how great it is to be seen every week and get reassurance baby is still in there bouncing around. I am so grateful for these appointments.

I saw Dr Ball the perinatal doctor yesterday and everything looks great. Cervix still at a good length. He said let's hope for a boring pregnancy. I am all for a boring uneventful pregnancy! I start the progesterone injection his week, which I'll do once a week in Dr. Denson office.

Dr. Ball told me that research has shown that injection progesterone is better for preterm labor and progesterone suppository is better for shortened weak cervix.  Who knew? He said they'll see me back in 2 weeks then weekly after that until we get past the scary stage.

Baby looks great and has a 3 vein umbilical cord. Which is good. Heart rate was 159. I was able to see baby has all fingers and toes and lungs, stomach, bladder, kidneys, heart chambers, spine, just amazing.

Did you know babies intestines and stomach and such buldge into umbilical cord in early pregnancy because there is no room for them all in the tiny abdomen and then move down into the abdomen? So amazing.

It's just such a miracle how they grow. It such a testimony to me that God is over all and how amazing our bodies are.

So next update will be in 2 weeks. So far everything is as it should be and I'm grateful. Thanks for following along and for the continued prayers of love and support.

Also doctor told us he's 80% sure the gender  but we are waiting to be 100% sure before spilling the beans ;) I think we will know for sure at the next appointment. Do you have  any guesses?

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

U/S and the plan for now...

So I'm now 11 weeks 3 days and met with Dr Spencer the perinatal doctor yesterday.

Here's our sweet little babe. Already so much love for this tiny human. ❤️ measuring right on track. Heart rate was at 157.

Doctor Spencer thinks my history with Jayden at 22 weeks was more pre-term labor than incompetent cervix and says he'd like me to come in every 2 weeks until I'm 26 weeks to monitor the length of my cervix and if it shortens to 2.5 cm they can still do a cerclage but otherwise no stitching​. My cervix is 3.5 now totally normal.

He wants to keep me on progesterone through 36 weeks though to prevent pre-term labor.

I will stop the lovenox (blood thinner) and parlodel for the high prolactin on Sunday @ 12 weeks and the plaquenil (autoimmune) at 20 weeks.

He said it's up to me if I want to stay on baby aspirin which I probably will if it doesn't hurt anything.

So next appt is May 2 with Dr Spencer and I will see Dr Denson April 24 and talk to him about what Dr Spencer said and get some progesterone Rx.

So for now I'm still taking it day by day. I'm not as nauseous any more and am already showing but no surprise there. I'm so short I'm bound to be huge but it's all so worth it!

Thank you all for your continued prayers they are so felt and we are so humbled to be in this situation with this tiny miracle still growing and beating.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Results of FET #4 ...

I know you've all been waiting patiently to know what the results were from our FET #4. Before I explain why I've waited to say anything I'll let you know I am pregnant and 10 weeks along. This is a miracle in and of itself. In my last 3 transfers I've miscarried at 6.5 weeks. (Well last one was a blighted ovum). I'm taking it day by day and grateful every day we get in this Pregnancy.

I wanted to wait to post anything because I am anxious, nervous, and honestly I'm scared. I really hesitate to even post it now, I'm still not out of the clear and it hardly seems this is real and hasn't really sunk in. It's weird knowing I'm pregnant but not feeling like it's real yet. I'm just waiting for the bad news. I'm not trying  to be a downer but after so many losses it's hard to get your hopes up and then dashed so to protect myself I have this guard up.

I haven't had an excited I'm pregnant feeling yet and maybe I won't at all during this pregnancy and that's ok. I'm not going to feel guilty about it. It's just another way to try and protect myself if things go south.

I also have wanted to wait because I know how hard pregnancy announcements can be and am sensitive to those who are still in their  infertility journey. Many of those who are in their own journey have also experienced: disappointments, pain, loss, heartache, grief but hopefully our journey gives you Hope that God knows best and is over all. I know that whatever comes in the future with this babe is His plan and I trust Him.


So we cheated and did an at home test the day before we had first beta HCG (pregnancy blood test) which was 10 days after transfer 2/27. My result was 203.6 and they didn't retest for another week because they said the number was strong. So at 17 days post transfer I did another blood test and my HCG was 7088. I was relieved. As last time my numbers weren't doubling like they should.
I had my first u/s at 6 weeks 5 days and I was anxious to see if any baby was  in there. I asked to only have an abdominal u/s as I usually spot after the transvaginal ones and didn't want to risk anything. It was wonderful to see and hear the heartbeat. The baby was measuring  6w+1day and heart rate was 110.

Had second u/s and again requested Abdominal--at 8weeks 5 days and I was even more anxious for this one. Like to the point I couldn't stop crying all morning. It was bad and I wasn't sure I wanted to know. But again all was well baby was measuring 8weeks 2 days and heart rate was 168. I cried when I heard that glorious heartbeat. We got to even see a little baby movement. Such a cute little gummy bear. They gave me list of meds that are safe during pregnancy and my records to take to my OB doctor. I can't believe I made it to actually graduate from the infertility clinic! I waited to schedule my first OB appt until after this u/s because every time in previous FET I had scheduled it I had to call and cancel due to miscarrying.

I had my first OB appointment on Thursday 4/6 and can I just say Dr. Nick Denson is wonderful! They did a quick u/s to reassure us and we saw the heart beating away and then we discussed a plan. He told me he'd be happy to see me every 1-2 weeks to ease my worry through first trimester due to my long history of trying and losses. He said we'd probably do a cervical cerclage (stitch) around 14-16 weeks and stay on progesterone through pregnancy as a preventative pre-term labor measure. He also referred me to Dr. Spencer a perinatal doctor that comes to IF occasionally (who happens to be Dr. Conway's my IVF doctors husband) to see if he has any other ideas or advice on when best placement time for cervix stitch would be etc.

So I have another appointment next Friday 4/14 to check up on baby and reassure myself and will see Dr. Spencer 4/18.

I have been a little nauseated but not to the point of throwing up, sore boobs, tired, lots a peeing, lots of bloat and the gas...Oh boy! (hands over eyes emoji)

I am taking this one day at a time and Praying this is finally our time. Finally.

We appreciate more than you know your continued thoughts and prayers and love.

I especially want to thank my amazing angel family that has helped me with Grayson, made dinners, cleaned my house, grocery shopped, and emotionally supported us. I truly feel they are my serving angels and I am forever grateful to their sacrifice to our family. Cue the tears. We are so blessed.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

FET #4...

This is what my calendar looks like for the month. It gets pretty intense with meds the week of transfer and I actually took one of my doses wrong on Tuesday but it all worked out and was not a big deal. 

I started these old friends (PIO) Progesterone in oil again last Sunday. Probably my least favorite, but I have been icing my buns before hand and it has seemed to help, also I take them in the morning rather than evening and I think that has actually helped it get disbursed more and not have as big of medicine knots. I do these every single morning. I also started  on Sunday a progesterone suppository  ( in my hooha) every night. 

These were my last labs on Monday before transfer. 

We went to Butte Tuesday- Thursday for Neal's job and brought his mom with us. It was so relaxing and we had fun. We went to Fairmont Hot Springs one night. So fun to soak under the stars. 

And this is an IVF Hack...didn't have a ziploc for little man's sandwich when we travelling back from Butte so I used one of my syringe bags. 

So yesterday 02/17/17 was the big TRANSFER day and we were reunited with one of our embryos.
That morning I had Neal give me a blessing of comfort to ease my anxiety and we dropped off Grayson and our dog to my parents where my sisters and them helped watch him and headed down to Utah for the transfer.

Our check in time was 4:30PM for a 5PM transfer.

We went to eat at The Pie.... Neal's favorite Buffalo chicken pizza is there. Then headed to IKEA. I started drinking some water at 3:30 so my bladder would be nice and full for transfer and around 3:45 we drove the rest of the way to Pleasant Grove.

We checked in, they had me take my valium and 10 min later I felt it kick in. Man I felt out of it but was still with it.  It's really weird.

I had to pee so bad by then I asked if I could relieve some and they said I could. I didn't want to over do it so I was cautious.

Then they took us back to the room told me to undress from the waist down and cover up with drape. I still had intense pee pressure and made Neal peak his head out and ask if I could relieve myself more (I really didn't want to pee on the doctor.) So I bunched the drape​ and waddled to the bathroom across the hall. I felt way better and like I wouldn't dribble on the doctor now.

We waited a few minutes before they came in to prep me. They had me stirrup up and lay down. Put the abdominal u/s on my belly so they could see where to place the catheter in uterus.  Having a full bladder helps with that too. Dr. Conway came in showed us a picture out if our embryo. Said it looked beautiful and was hatching . This is our 5 day blastocyst (embryo)
Prepped my cervix put the catheter in and the embryologist came in took the straw that goes in the catheter--took it to the attached  room and sucked our embryo up into it. Brought it back out and handed it to Dr. Conway who then inserted the straw in the catheter and pushed our sweet embryo back where it belongs in my uterus.  

The big black section is my full bladder the little white bubble inside the heart is our embaby. 
The embryologist checked the straw and said all clear. They had me stay laying down for 20 minutes listening to the supposed to be relaxing sounds but the birds chirping were just kind of unrealistic and funny.  Neal videoed the transfer so I'm sure we will post that soon. I was able to pee again after the 20 minute wait ( I mean look at that full bladder)

We headed right back home as soon as it was done and made it home by 10:30PM and went straight to bed. That valium knocks you out! 

This experience was so much different than my previous clinic, not in a good or bad way just different. I felt like Dr. Conway is way more relaxed and spent a few minutes with us afterwards talking and letting us ask questions. I'm really hopeful that these new meds she's having me try are the key to a healthy full term pregnancy. 

Here are just a few differences and what my last clinic did:
-Neal couldn't be in the room watching  (which is one thing I really loved about the new clinic--that he could be in there with me)
-I had to wear a wrist band with my name and DOB on it for them to verify it was me and that they were putting the right embryo in the right patient (the embryologist would come check my wrist band then show me my name and DOB on the embryo dish on the screen from adjacent room)
-I had to get in a hospital gown completely undressed and wear a hair cap. 
-They had a screen in the embryologist room where they showed my name and DOB to verify it was me and then zoomed into the embryo for me to see. (this clinic usually does that they said but the room the were using the scope wasn't working so we didn't get to see that part)
-I was in a completely sterilized had to walk on sticky mats before getting on the bed
-Gave us movie tickets for us to use during the two week wait I mean we did just give you thousands of dollars the least you could do is give us something... :)  (take note Utah Fertility Center haha)

I don't think either clinic is right or wrong in how they do their transfers and every clinic has different protocol but the only thing that really had me somewhat question was that we didn't verify the embryo and that it was ours they were putting in me (I'm sure it was only because the scope and video part wasn't working in the room we were in otherwise we probably would have seen it really was ours) but if this baby comes out black....we'll know a mistake was made haha.

Now we enter the TWW (two week wait) until we find out if this embaby stuck and implanted. So far I've had 100% success in this area, it's the next few weeks after that  that have me all scared. But I saw this on Instagram and it's how I"m choosing to feel. I have no control and I am leaving this in God's hands. Whatever the outcome I will trust His plan for us. 

We so appreciate all your kind words, messages, and especially prayers as we go though our infertility journey.  It has touched our hearts and continues to keep us so very humbled. Wishing we could hug everyone of you. Love love love to you all. <3

Friday, February 10, 2017

Labs, u/s and polyp biopsy update...

My polyp biopsy came back normal. :)

Here is the box of some of my meds for my FET 2/17/17.
I started baby aspirin on 1/19.
Last birth control pill was 1/23 the. Period was 1/26-2/1.
I started plaquenil 1/26 (an autoimmune drug) in hopes to prevent miscarriage in case my body is attacking the baby thinking it's something it isn't.

I started the estrodial valerate 0.15 (estrogen) shots on 1/27 I do these every Tuesday and Friday night.
I  had my baseline u/s and labs 1/25 which was all normal and good. Lining was thin like it should be, no cysts on ovaries.
2/2 LABS they also drew some labs to recheck hormone levels and blood type and disease panel since the last I had done was in 2014.
My prolactin levels came back high 44 so they had me recheck it the next day (2/3) fasting and no intercourse the night before. It was still high at 47 and they like it 24 or lower. So they began me on parlodel a medicine to lower it. I take 1/2 pill a day and will recheck my levels in a month. They said it shouldn't affect my transfer but high levels of prolactin can sometimes cause miscarriage. So maybe this is one more thing that'll keep my babe in me.
2/6 had more labs and u/s  and they  came back good. My lining is 11.2mm they like it above 8 so lining is good and ready for transfer next Friday. I just can't believe it's come so fast. I'm kind of glad it's been a crazy couple months to keep me from going down a dark anxious road. I'm still so anxious and stressed about another loss but I also trust that I've done everything I can and I have no other option but to leave it in God's hands. So come what may I'll still trust Him and His plan for my family.
I have one more lab draw Monday 2/13 before transfer next Friday and start the thick progesterone in oil shots Sunday(2/12) with a progesterone suppository--- I'll get to do those both daily.

Then I start z-pack 2/13 and medrol 2/14 and day of transfer I'll begin the lovenox (blood thinner) in case I have some clotting thing not picked up on other labs I had drawn.

So T-minus 7 days until one of our little embaby's are reunited with us. Praying the embryologist chooses a good eggy and that he/she sticks good and is in it for the long haul!

Oh and we moved into our new home 1/23. WE are loving having our own space and are grateful we feel settled and mostly unpacked for out transfer 2/17/17.

If you want to follow a little more closer on our IVF journey and FET #4 follow us on my Instagram account @the_making_of_our_family

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Hysterscope and polyps removal...

So it's been a crazy 2017 so far. On January 1 my father-in-law's health started declining fast from years of dealing with lupus. By Wednesday we knew it was only a matter of time and he wouldn't be with us much longer.

Not knowing how much time he had I kept debating if I should reschedule my procedure or not. After discussing with my husband we decided I would go and do it still since there wasn't much I could do here to help.

My dad offered to drive me down to Utah for the procedure Friday January 6 and we left around 5:30am. I figured we'd be back around 5pm. I was able to stop by my in-laws house once more before I left and said my final goodbyes.

As I was driving to Utah I got the text I dreaded and my heart broke. My father-in-law had passed away at 7:30am.

I felt so torn wishing I had rescheduled so I could be with my sweet husband during this time. My father-in-law was one in a million. I considered him a father and loved him so much. I know He is pain free and enjoying heaven with our son Jayden.

It was freezing that morning ---we are talking it got to -26* at one point. The roads weren't too bad but there were tons of accidents that caused delays but we had left early enough to have a cushion.
I arrived at Utah Fertility center about 45 minutes before I was scheduled and we waited. They took me back around 11 and got me hooked up to an IV. Dr. Conway came in and chatted for a quick minute and then I was out and before I knew it I was waking up in a chair with a heat pad on my abdomen. (Which felt heavenly) My dad came in while I was waking up so he could hear what the doctor said (I was afraid I wouldn't remember) .

Dr. Conway came in and said they removed 2 bigger polyps and a couple smaller ones. She sent them to be tested just in case. I was able to dress and walk out and we drove straight home. I slept most the time from the anethesia but also was able to talk to my husband a little. They had had a busy day as well with meeting with hospice workers, funeral home, and what not.

We had his funeral yesterday and it was a beautiful service and it was wonderful to remember and honor such a GREAT man. He really was the greatest of the great. 

I'm still spotting/bleeding from the procedure which is super annoying. I'm wondering if it's also a mixture of breakthrough bleeding from birth control. Dr. Conway PA Stephanie said it's normal and to just continue as I have. If it last much longer I'll call again and see if I can double up on birth control to stop the spotting.

I start meds in a couple weeks and the the labs and u/s monitoring will start for my transfer in February 17.

I told my father-in-law to make sure he brings us some babies and to hug our Jayden. Knowing he's up there with our future child brings me more hope that this transfer will be the successful one.


Monday, January 2, 2017

IVF # 2-- Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET)

So we started prepping for our second FET in August 2015.

 A frozen embryo transfer (FET) is a cycle in which the frozen embryos from a previous fresh IVF or donor egg cycle are thawed and then transferred back into the woman's uterus.

I was on birth control from 7/11-8/28 they do that so they can regulate your body and make sure the timing of the uterus and lining is ideal for a frozen embaby to implant.

My fertility clinic also started me on lupron 8/24 (to suppress my ovaries) which is still funny to me because I don't ovulate. #PCOSproblems

Here was my schedule/protocol

08/24/15- 9/9/15 Lupron 10 units
08/31-9/4 Period
09/07 Estrace 1 mg 7AM/7PM, baby aspirin
09/09 Labs and u/s
09/9-9/10 Estrace 1 mg 7AM/ 7 PM, baby aspirin, Lupron 5 units
09/11-09/14 Estrace 2 mg 7AM/ 7 PM, baby aspirin, Lupron 5 units
9/15  Labs and u/s--lining getting thicker
09/15-09/19 Estrace 2 mg 7AM/2PM/7 PM, baby aspirin, Lupron 5 units
09/18 Labs and u/s-- lining great 12-13mm
09/20-9/24 Progesterone in oil 1ml/cc (shot in bum), doxycycline 100 mg 2xday, Medrol 16 mg, Estrace 2 mg 7AM/ 7 PM, baby aspirin, STOP lupron
09/24 Labs in Spokane-- look good
09/25/15 TRANSFER DAY ---- 2 EMBRYOS (both were hatching)

About 2 hours before your transfer they have you drink 36 oz of water and you are supposed to hold it until after the transfer. They do this so your bladder is full and they can more easily see where they are placing (squirting) the embryo.  

 Having a full bladder is super uncomfortable and I swear I was going to pee my pants or dribble on the doctor but luckily after they checked my bladder they let me release some before the transfer because it was so full. Again a day of no scents, no lotion, deodorant, etc. 

I put on my gown, hairnet, socks and walk into the sterilized room, climb up on the table, stirrup up and the nurse puts the u/s on your full bladder the whole time so the doctor can see where he's placing the embryo.  The doctor, cleans your cervix and preps it and sticks the catheter in until you see it in the uterus, the embryologist shows you your embryos on screen and they are so tiny, like the size of a pin head tiny, zooms in and you can see the cells in it---it's amazing. He sucks both frostys up in the straw brings it into the doctor (all while you're bum is a breezing in the air) #embarassing 

The doctor sticks the straw in the catheter and then pushes (squirts) it out and you see this little white flash and it's over. They go check the straw to make sure it's empty and say clear when they see it's empty. The whole thing probably only takes 15 -20 minutes and then they just had me walk out, finally release my pee and said no exercise, sex, or overheating  until after first pregnancy test.  They said the embryo will not fall out, it kind of just floats around until it attaches (or not) to the uterine wall. 

TWW: Two Week Wait. Waiting the 10 days until you know if the embabies stuck or not.... tried to stay occupied and not think to much about it. But doesn't work so well. 

9/30 Progesterone/Estrogen labs-- all look good
10/4 Did an at home pregnancy test and it was POSITIVE
10/5 Pregnancy lab test HCG 755
10/7 2nd pregnancy lab test HCG 2225ish
10/15 U/S and Labs--- Pregnant with TWINS! We were shocked  and pretty excited (but of course cautiously because of our past) that we had 2 littles growing in there. We kept wondering if we had 2 boys, 2 girls, or one of each. I had a little brown spotting and cramping after the u/s which they say is pretty normal with any pregnancy after an u/s.
10/16-10/19 Brown spotting continued
10/20  Had red spotting @ 3:30pm my heart sunk and I just started bawling. This was all too familiar just like last time.
10/21 A gush of red and a blood clot at 12:30pm. I called the doctor to tell them what was happening and they got me scheduled for an u/s in office @ 4PM. The u/s showed 2 heartbeats and my HCG was 100,000 Progesterone 15 (all good) But I still couldn't feel at ease. This is exactly what happened last time,... I bled. I had u/s and baby was still there. I bled more and baby was gone. 
6:30pm-1:30am more clots and more bleeding.  I knew deep down that I probably would not be carrying these babes full term and it broke my heart. I held onto what sliver of hope I could and kept telling myself that we saw the 2 heartbeats and prayed that all would be how the Lord wanted it to be. Had next u/s scheduled for 10/29
10/22 red spotting and small red clots
10/23-10/27 red when wiped
10/29 u/s showed no heartbeats or blood flow, the babies had stopped growing and measured 6 weeks, placentas had collapsed on each other. Just as I had feared. Dr. Asay came and spoke with us and told us we could do cytotec pill to induce a miscarriage or wait until they pass on their own or do D&C but they don't recommend those this early on in a loss. So we opted for cytotec that we were told to take vaginally at night because most people get nauseated and you can sleep through the worst of it. We picked up the meds and went home.
9:15PM I put the pills in vaginally as instructed and waited for it to start. I felt like not much was happening and slept through the night mostly. I was super anxious because they wanted me to try and collect the "products of conception" (my babies) to see if they could test and see if there was a reason for their loss. So every time I was on the toilet I was looking for what I thought was my babies or the placentas. It was awful.
11/3 I didn't feel as if the cytotec worked so they sent another script of cytotec for me to do and I started it at 1:30pm. Again the anxiety of trying to collect was awful and to add to it the pharmacy messed up my RX and said they couldn't fill it so I had it transferred to another pharmacy to fill it and I was just wanting to be done it had carried on long enough and I was broken inside. At one point I sat down on the toilet and something fell out and I thought it was a baby, but when I got it it was actually just one of they cytotec pills that hadn't dissolved. Seriously my emotions were shot. I thought for sure we were headed to a D&C because things just hadn't happened like I thought they would. 
11/5 labs and u/s showed that I didn't need a D&C (tender mercy) and had passed everything. HCG was 640. They told me they would monitor my HCG levels until they were below 5. 
11/11 HCG labs 365
11/18 HCG labs 170
12/2 HCG labs 33.6
12/16 HCG labs 4

01/2016 Decided to get lots of lab testing done to see if there was a reason I kept miscarrying. Neal and I were both karyotyped and it came back normal, I had tons of clotting panels, thyroid, antilphosopholipid and a slew of others and everything has come back normal. So that led us to do FET 3 that most of you followed us along for...ended in a blighted ovum. So we are prepping for my next FET transfer and saving money to get our embryos tested. I am trusting God that this next transfer goes well since we won't have the money to test them before hand and I truly believe that things will happen how He wants them to regardless so I am trusting him and praying the embryo they choose will be healthy strong and a fighter and that my body with these new meds Dr. Conway is having us try will be the key to a full term healthy baby.