Our Angel baby Jayden

Happy 7th birthday to our sweet angel Jayden! We love you and are so grateful for our marriage in the temple so we can be together forever. What a blessing it is to know we will see you again. 

Grayson hugging Jayden's grave

On May 24 2009, I went into preterm labor. I was about 22 weeks along.  I thought our sweet boy was just laying in an uncomfortable position but I was actually having contractions. I went to the hospital because I had some bleeding and they sent me home because I only had one contraction while I was there and our baby's heart rate was  fine. I continued to have contractions all night and went back to the hospital and they did an ultrasound and I was fully dilated. 

We called our families and told them the news (mine and Neal's parents both came down the next day) and Brother Sanders from our bishopric came that very day and gave me and Jayden a blessing. We were at peace and knew the Lord was with us.

I was in the hospital for 5 days. They put my bed in recline with my head down  and my feet up so they could take pressure off the cervix and put me on terbutaline and morphine to try and slow down the contractions. When that stopped working they had me take this pill Nifedipine (I think  is what it was...I can't remember it's name) but it worked and I had a really good day and half to 2 days but I could only take it for those 2 days. They let me do the steroid injection to help his little lungs develop  and then they had me back on terbutaline and then on Friday night I had to do the last resort medication which was magnesium sulfate. 



 1:59 AM on May 30, 2009 we welcomed our sweet son Jayden into our lives and he was just too small to pull through.  He was 1 lb 2 oz and 12 inches. He was perfect! He lived 40 minutes and it was the sweetest yet most bitter time for us. It was such a sacred time to feel Heaven so close and our sweet son there with us.   The hardest thing was to leave the hospital with full hearts and empty arms.   

He is still very much a part of our lives and there isn't a day that goes by that we don't think of him. We started a non-profit organization "Calling All Angels" in honor of him where we donate baby blankets to local hospitals around his birthday each year. 

 I was pretty loopy from meds during this time but my sister Holly wrote a few little updates on our family blog during this time so feel free to read it if you want here: Neal and Angie Blog  and just click on the label Jayden.

 

The beginning of our Infertility Journey...

Neal and I were married in June 2006 and started trying to have children about 6 months after we were married (partly because I was a crazy lady on birth control and of course because babies are cute) haha.

 

I graduated college from BYU-I in summer of 2007 and worked full-time while Neal finished up school. I went to my OB/GYN Dr. Hall's office in the fall and he had me do a post-coital test (you can look it up if you want... I feel too awkward writing what it is)  and so he put me on estrogen to thin out my mucus. He also put me on clomid to try and help me ovulate...we did several cycles of this and it never worked. He told me that I didn't fit the typical polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) patient because I wasn't overweight so he wouldn't even test me for it or let me try metformin with the clomid.

I also tried Acupuncture around this time. The first round I was able to have a period (which I never do with my PCOS) so I was amazed! The acupuncturist had me drink this grass tasting herbal stuff 3x a day (I had to plug my nose to swallow it and then hurried and ate a peanut M&M afterwards to help the taste.) But after a couple months nothing was happening again so I ended up stopping the acupuncture.

Summer 2008 I decided I need to see a different doctor. I saw a PA Serena Davidson at Dr. Huggins office and she ran a few blood test and diagnosed me with PCOS. She put me on metformin and clomid and in Fall of 2008 we moved to Fullerton, CA for Neal to go to optometry school.


Fall 2008 I went to Dr. Ackerman in California (it was who all the other optometry school wife's went to) and he upped my metformin to 1000 mg 2x day and clomid to 4 pills days 3-7. The first cycle  or two nothing happened. In December 2008 they had me come in to do u/s to see if I was going to ovulate and I had one little follicle growing. And miracle of all miracles... I got pregnant!

 So when we found out in January 2009 that we were expecting we were ecstatic and we knew Heavenly Father had granted us a miracle and answered our prayers. 

The Scope

I'm sure you've all been biting your nails  waiting to know how the scope went Tuesday.

This is what went down. I got to the office at 8:30am with my rock of a husband Neal since I had to have a driver. They had me take my meds (Valium, phenegren, and hydrocodone) and I waited about 30 min for them to kick in.

I went back to the procedure room and they got me all set up in stirrups and prepped the camera scope and such. Dr. Denson then gave me a cervical block and toradol shots in my cervix to numb it up (the shots were the worst part of the procedure) and all the sudden I felt my  happy meds kick in. I seriously would've told anyone anything and held nothing back--I swear that concoction of pills is like a truth serum. 

Dr. Denson let me watch the screen while he did the hysteroscope and everything was looking normal and then he found a little polyp in front of my right fallopian tube opening. (Looked like a little mini uvula--that thing hanging down the back of your throat). So we decided to go ahead and do a light D&C  since I was feeling no pain and try and remove the polyp.

Dr. Denson said polyps usually don't cause miscarriage but rather prevent implantation.

So scrapey scrapey he went and then we did the scope again to make sure he got it and he did. They sent the tissue he got off to be tested and he had to put a small stitch on the outside of my cervix since one of the tools he was using to hold the cervix in place made a little scrape.

This is what the camera scope looks like and what they do. Sorry for the graphic nature of this post!

 

During the procedure they squirt saline inside to fill the uterus so they can get a better look and I just felt all the dribbling down my back end which Dr. Denson said is normal. But half way through the nurses were having to put more mats down because it was dripping  on the floor. 😨😷🙈

After it was over the nurses were cleaning up and since the sheet covering me was dirty they handed me some paper towel like things and I got to waddle bum naked  with the cloth between my legs to prevent further dripping to the bathroom...mortifying...absolutely mortifying... but I said to make things light it's not like you haven't seen this all already. Let me just crawl in a hole please.🙈

I asked Dr. Denson to talk with Neal and tell him what he found since I was a little dopey. As he chatted I thought of a very important question. How long did we have to wait to do "it". 😉 I was informed 2 weeks. I turned to Neal and said "Sorry Babe"  and as the statement was  coming out I realized how embarrassing I was being but like I said truth serum was in my system.

I was done by 10am. And didn't have much cramping or bleeding the rest of the day just super tired and loopy from meds.

I should be recovered by my transfer July 11 and so here's to hoping by finding that polyp I'll have a good transfer and not miscarry like the past 2 IVF cycles.

Thank you for your prayers and kindness on our behalf. I have had many tender mercies and I know it's because of all the prayers. Wish I could hug you all individually. You are all so wonderful ❤

Doctors and more doctors...

So a bit has happened since I wrote last. This will probably be boring. Sorry but this is just so I can document and see tender mercies along this crazy journey.

Dr. Conway:

After finding out  Dr. Conway (the IVF here in Idaho Falls)was out of network I called and left a message telling them I wouldn't be doing the saline u/s since they were out of network. Dr. Conway called me and told me she would be happy to do the saline ultrasound free of charge this time. I was so touched that she would reach out to me and be so accommodating. So I went in on April 25th and her PA Stephanie did the saline u/s and Dr. C and Stephanie didn't find anything abnormal. Dr. Conway said she'd send a report to Dr. Robins (IVF in Spokane) and see if that would be sufficient but that he may still want to do a hysterscope. She said she thought that there was a 80% chance that the hysterscope would be normal. Dr. Conway told me Dr. Denson  an OBGYN here in IF just got a new scope and can do them in office and that might save on price.


LeAnn my nurse coordinator for Dr. Robins (IVF Spokane) called and said he still wanted the hysterscope just to make sure all is well and if any abnormal finding do a light D&C (scrape out the uterus). She said Dr. Robins would like to chat with the doctor doing the scope to tell them what he's concerned about or wants to look at and what to do for light D&C if indicated.

Dr. Robison:
So I went to Rosemark and saw Dr. Steve Robison who I heard was a good doctor and chatted about doing the scope. He said they could do it in office but that they would still have to do anesthesia for the procedure or he could do it at the hopsital. He said he would have the insurance people check both costs to see what would be more cost effective and he was good either way. He did say if a D&C was indicated we'd have to schedule that at the hospital.  The billing people  called me and told me it was cheaper in office --only $25! But that my insurance wouldn't cover the anesthesia so it would be $500 cash and that the anesthesiologists come from Boise once a month so we'd have to schedule May 18 for the day they are there but if they don't get more than 2 patients scheduled for that day I'd have to wait until June 22 the next time they come and so far I'd be the only one schedule for May 18. June 22 was just too late and close to transfer especially if I need a D&C. So I told them to schedule for the 18th and if not I may have to go to the hospital instead.

I also figured I ask cost for just regular u/s for monitoring for my next transfer since I have to pay those out of pocket since it's infertility. They charge $365! Only discount they give is 15% if paid same day... that's insane. I can't do that. I have 4 u/s I do for the transfer cycle. So I may just go back to Dr. Leavitt's office (who I went to for my last IVF cycle) since they only charge $100 for IVF u/s monitoring.

Dr. Denson:
So I decided I might as well see Dr. Nick Denson (the one Dr. Conway told me about) and see their price for the hysterscope since any little money saved helps. I had an appointment with him May 4 and chatted with him. He said they can do it in office without anesthesia and they just do an oral medicine to help with pain and relax you. I signed the consent form for the procedure (the one where they tell you  the risks like you could possibly die or have your uterus perforated).  He also said he'd check with the sonographer and see if she'd be willing to do my u/s for monitoring for my next transfer for $100 each like Leavitt's office. So I went ahead and scheduled with their office for hysterscope on May 17.

The billing lady called me back from Dr. Denson's office and told me it'd be $25 for procedure and that the sonographer agreed to do the u/s for $100 for monitoring. Which is so nice that they are willing to work things out with me.

So I decided to cancel the procedure with Dr. Robison and have Dr. Denson do it to save $500. I called LeAnn at Dr. Robins (IVF Spokane) and told her I scheduled the hysterscope for May 17 with Dr. Denson and she told me Dr. Robins and Dr. Denson had already spoke with each other so Dr. Denson knows what he is looking for.


{My loves. These 2 are my world.}

So now I'm in a dilemma...which OBGYN do I see after my transfer? I have liked every doctor I've seen. They only reason I decided to change from Dr. Leavitt is because he's just too busy so last transfer during my miscarriage I had to see a different doctor in his office and I've literally only seen him one time for an annual exam.

A family friend recommended Dr. Robison and said other nurses at EIRMC said he was really good under pressure and competent.

Dr. Conway recommended Dr. Denson office for the hysterscope so I assume she'd recommend them as an OBGYN.

I googled both their names and Dr. Denson has 4.8 out of 5 stars on healthy grades  and Dr. Robison only has 2.5 stars on there. Dr. Denson is younger so Dr. Robison is older so of course has more experience.  But can you really trust those reviews on healthy grades?  I'd love a doctor who is both competent and has the time and good bedside manner. But if I had to choose between a nice or a competent doctor I'd choose competent.  For now I'll just keep debating, I still have some time to decide.

Our transfer is scheduled for July 11 in Spokane.