HCG now and moving forward...

Sorry its been awhile since I had a chance to update. Life has been quite chaotic this last month and just busy. 

I took the last HCG level test on 9/16 and it was a 5 which Dr. Conway said 5 and below they consider zero.

I start Provera tomorrow to get me to have a period and we've decided to wait to do IVF #4 until December/January when Dr. Conway will be doing transfers here in Idaho Falls.

Some of our reasons are: it gives us more time to save up money it's about $5,000 for  the upcoming transfer and then saves us on travelling to Utah and lastly  we can enjoy the holidays without it all hanging over our heads and being anxious that I might miscarry .

We will be in touch with Dr. Conway office end of October beginning of November to get our schedule and start meds for the transfer.

Oh and our frozen little babies made it safe and sound! The embryo grade report Dr. Robins office sent about the grades of them (which we never knew) is 10 of them are grade 5AA and 1 is a 6AA (they say its subjective because it depends on person doing the grading) but that they will regrade them their way when they thaw for the transfer. 

Here's a little info on the grading scale

The grading scale is the Gardner Blastocyst.

There is a number, 1 – 6 to describe the stage and then 2 sets of letters (A,B,C) to describe first the Inner cell mass and second the tophectoderm.

So seems like we have some good little embabies according to the grade but that doesn't mean there aren't genetic issues like this last blighted ovum. I'm just praying the chances of that are slim in our case. 

We did find out  we actually can do genetic testing on the embryos but that would be another $5,000. So for now we are going to hold off. We don't have the money for both a transfer and the testing and I am turning my trust to Heavenly Father and that His will and way be done. But it's good to know it can be done if we choose to do so in the future. 

Can I just say how much I loved the General Women's Broadcast?! Elder Uchtdorf's talk spoke to my soul as he spoke of what faith is and what it isn't. 

He said" “Faith is powerful, and often it does result in miracles. But no matter how much faith we have, there are two things faith cannot do. For one, it cannot violate another person’s agency,” he said. “The second thing faith cannot do is force our will upon God,” President Uchtdorf said. “We cannot force God to comply with our desires—no matter how right we think we are or how sincerely we pray.”He said: “The purpose of faith is not to change God’s will but to empower us to act on God’s will. Faith is trust—trust that God sees what we cannot and that He knows what we do not. Sometimes, trusting our own vision and judgment is not enough.” 

Take a listen to this powerful talk! Here's the link: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/10/media/session_0_talk_7/5139845053001?lang=eng 

So while we wait for our next transfer I'll be writing the stories of our experience with  IVF #1 and IVF #2 and the amazing adoption of our sweet boy. 

So stay tuned...



Passing the BO (Blighted Ovum) and the last 2 weeks...

Sorry I've been MIA the last little while, just been dealing with passing the BO(sounds stinky because it has been) blighted ovum. And also been potty training my 3 year old. 

Please read at your own discretion... ;)

So went to my appointment on Monday the 22nd and did an ultrasound and that sac was still hanging out in there. So Dr. Denson prescribed me cytotec and said I could take it when I wanted to or not and wait it out. He told me to call on Friday and let him know how things were going. 

I came home from my appointment and planned to go out with my favorite boys that night and started cramping and bleeding heavily so we canceled our plans and I took some Tylenol and laid down and stayed close to the bathroom.

The next day was super heavy bleeding and clots and I was getting really light headed, short of breath and dizzy when I'd stand because of how much I was bleeding.

It was a tender mercy to not have to take the cytotec or wait any longer.

Wednesday was a little slower but still happening and I decided since I was stuck at home anyways I'd start potty training our 3 year old. He did awesome!



I'm still spotting and SO tired of it...just be done body...just be done already...ya know.

I had labs drawn Friday Sept 2 and my HCG has dropped to 152 so I definitely passed the sac. Now we wait until levels go to 0 to do another transfer.

I have an appointment with Dr. Conway tomorrow, she's the new IVF doctor here in Idaho Falls. It'll be nice to start new and fresh with a new doctor.

Our 11 little embryos get shipped off to Dr. Conway on Thursday too. So pray for them to have safe travels!

Can I just say how incredibly grateful I am for all the prayers for our family. They have held me together and I've seen God's hand and love throughout all of this. I can actually say emotionally I'm doing good and ready for another FET (it was easier knowing there was no baby and miscarrying then seeing the baby and heartbeat and losing them).

Sending hugs and heartfelt gratitude to all of you! <3 I'll keep you posted on what the plan is next. 

What now?

So I had another u/s and lab Monday and my HCG levels rose to 26,374 and no surprise but still no baby. So now we know there is officially no baby or anything in the sac what's next?

I had a doctors appointment Monday as well and Dr. Denson feels it would be best to try and pass it on my own without a D&C. The sac is so small he feels the risk of D&C and messing with the cervix (especially in my case with incompetent cervix) would be unwise. I told him I just don't want this dragging out for weeks.  I stopped all my meds progesterone and estradiol.

I had another HCG drawn Wednesday and it dropped to 21,000 something. So maybe things are moving along. I had a blood clot and gush of blood Tuesday night but nothing since then and I feel like from my miscarriages in the past it just wasn't enough to be done.

So I have an appointment on Monday to see if anything has passed and if not he'll probably give me cytotec to get things moving. I used cytotec the last time and hated it. I didn't think it was working and did another dose and one of the pills fell out and I thought it might've been one of the babies.  They wanted me to try and collect the products of conception to test for genetic problems so I was just stressed the entire time. Awful!

This time might not be so bad since we already know this was a genetic issue so no need to try and collect anything. Let's hope things happen soon. It's already been almost a week and not much has happened in the passing/ miscarrying department.

So we sit and wait... As you can see waiting is a HUGE part of IVF and infertility. But thank goodness we have this sweet little boy to help us find joy in this difficult journey. He is our world and we love him more than life! 

In the meantime we are getting papers going to get our other 11 frozen embryos transferred to Dr. Conway office here in Idaho Falls. 

No baby...

I was a ball of nerves all morning. I told Neal I don't know if I want to know. I was teary and didn't want to hear the worst.

Went and got labs then headed for U/S at Denson's office. Dr. Pam Denson did the u/s and I could tell instantly there was nothing in the sac. It was bigger than last time but it was just a black hole.

She told us it would appear to be a blighted ovum but she can't medically document that until the sac is 2 mm. Mine is 1.28mm. So she said to come back next week and do another u/s and then talk with Dr. Nick afterwards.

My HCG levels are now 13,850. Dr. Pam said those levels are higher than she expected with what we saw. So we will do another labs next week with the u/s.

So it's dragging out another week. I'm sure next week we will see nothing and then we can finally get closure and decide if we do a D&C or what not.

So lots of tears shed, what else can you do when you hear the news you dreaded hearing.  It's hard, and definitely not what I was hoping for but we will be OK but for now I will cry, eat my chocolate and go on a shopping spree.

Again I will probably shut down for awhile and please don't be offended if I don't comment or respond to texts, emails, etc. I'm just working through my grief. We so appreciate all the love and support from all of you during this process and can feel comfort and peace through the prayers said in our behalf.