Labs and the 2 week wait

So since transfer I've had one set of labs Friday to check progesterone and estrogen levels. All good. My progesterone is 16 and they want at least a 10.

I've had all sorts of crazy anxietal and emotional bouts with a few hopeful excited ones scattered in. I'm cautiously optimistic.

I'm so Sorry to my family around me that has to deal with my ups and downs and gets the short end of the stick by being on the end of outbursts. It makes me feel so embarrassed and bad when I overreact. So many apologies if you've been on the bad end of my outbursts. I love you and just know it's out if being anxious and not knowing how to handle my emotions.

I've been bloated (progesterone shots at work) and trying to take it easy drink lots of water, and keep my mind off of obsessing over if it worked or not. Not easily done.

It's weird for me to think that I have this tiny ball of cells that will (hopefully) turn into a baby bouncing around in me until it cozies in. At least I picture it bouncing around like a pinball machine I'm absolutely positive that is not what happens it probably more floats than bounces but I like the visual of it bouncing around having fun and being excited to become a baby that I will carry for 9 months. 

I find out on Wednesday July 20 with a blood test if this little embaby of ours took or not. Bur for now I'm PUPO! (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise)

 I'm sure it will be positive since the other 2 IVF cycles all embryos have implanted. But then doubt creeps in and says "what if is the one that actually won't"...it's a back and forth thing all day long. Then I get anxious for the after the BFP (Big FAT Postitive) result and how about a month later I miscarried with my other 2 IVF rounds so I'm hoping this will work (we removed a polyp, I'm taking some more vitamins, metformin, essential oil, and this tincture) so things are at least different than the last 2 times. 

Anyway welcome to my thoughts. It literally is this same thing every single day just going round and round in circles. Welcome to the awful, dragged out TWO WEEK WAIT! (Technically 9 days) So tonight we will go on a date and get my mind off things.