I have been pretty emotional over here. I have this anxiety and I hate it. I want so bad to be excited and have the faith that all will work out, but then my overactive mind jumps in going circles around past experiences.
I started bleeding and having clots my first round of IVF around 5 weeks but then it stopped then started up again around 6 weeks and I lost the baby around 6 weeks 3 days. I started having those same symptoms my second round of IVF around 6 weeks and lost the babies ( I was pregnant with twins) at 6 weeks 5 days. But I've had no bleeding and no more spotting to date.
So I am taking it super easy and trying to keep my mind from going to dark places. I keep telling myself there are many things we are doing different this round and they did find that polyp too. It's much better for me to stay distracted so I've tried to plan little things everyday so I'm not just sitting at home having panic attacks.
Yesterday I had a big meltdown with my mom and I voiced my fears and you know what? After I did I felt much better. I set up my first OB appt for 8 weeks and I think that triggered my meltdown. The last 2 times I've done IVF I've set the first appt up to make sure I got in soon and ended up having to cancel them. I don't want that to happen this time. I pray it doesn't.
So I decided to forego my first 2 scheduled u/s and will instead be doing labs to check progesterone and HCG levels the next two Fridays and will do labs and u/s on 8/9 (6 weeks 6 days) and 8/16 (7w6d). I just don't want to disrupt anything sooner than I need to. As much as I would love to see my little yolk this week I'd rather be safe and not irritate my cervix.
So I will update ya'll on Friday and again thank you for your prayers. I feel so blessed and I know deep down (even on my darkest thought days) God is over all and He loves me and my family and knows what is best for us.